I do not like to say "No." I think this is true for most of us. People are generally kind, and when somebody in need asks for help, all things being equal, we want to say "Yes." No reason to wonder why....it's in our nature to want to help somebody who we feel a connection with.
I have two kidneys, and only one is a spare. Over a hundred people die every day in the US due to kidney disease. I've met at least two people who could have used my kidney, but their disease did not afford them the necessary time and health to receive. And I've met several others who will need kidneys...but their time will be later, and my time is imminent.
So I wish to write a letter to that person in need, whose kidneys are failed or failing, and who will soon need a donor. This message is for you.
Dear person in need of a kidney,
I'm sorry for your condition. I wish I could give you my kidney, but it does not belong to me any longer. My spare kidney is promised to somebody else who has been waiting and who needs it now. Regardless, please, I have a thought to share with you.
I think that you are deserving. I think, however you arrived in your current predicament, you deserve a healthy body.
Please do not wait in line. Please, please, please ask for a kidney. Please find a friend who will aid you...act as a champion...and together you must ask.
I do not envy having to ask...I think I would rather die than ask somebody for a kidney. But you must ask. There are people who love you, and those people want you to be healthy. They want as much time with you as possible. I want you to be healthy, whoever you are.
People keep telling me that very few are willing to give up their kidney, but I don't think it's true. I think millions of people in the US would gladly give a kidney if it meant that a stranger would have their health restored. On this world, I think hundreds of millions would give their kidney away just to help a stranger. People are kind! I know, I know....sometimes we are rude to each other. Our petty nature manifests when we're in line, in traffic, tired, even with our most beloved friends, we can be petty and small. But when we're at our best....when we search inside ourselves....when we are quiet, we find that our center is universally kind, and anyone who lacks this fundamental inner kindness deserves our sympathy more than anything else.
I think it's unkind people who are rare. I'm not sure they exist at all. We can be selfish, petty, or thoughtless sometimes....that's all. We're still kind inside.
Please ask. Ask and ask and ask and ask again until you find somebody who is approved as a compatible donor. Do not wait in lists. Do not wait for anything. People are waiting to help you; seek allies. You will have to ask, you might have to ask a lot of people, but definitely you will need to ask.
Dialysis is not good for your body, although it beats the alternative. The longer you are on dialysis, the less time your donated kidney will last, and the shorter your life expectancy will be. So it is best for everyone if you spend as little time on dialysis as possible.
You may need a second donor. Transplanted organs can last a long time, but they do not last forever. 25 years is a nice, long run for a donated organ...cadaver organs do not last so long. About half as long, from what I've read.
So you may have to ask a lot. Take heart, dig deep, and ask.
You deserve a healthy body. You deserve a long life. You deserve another chance and freedom from the dialysis machine. You deserve every bounty that life has to offer you. So please ask. Your donor will simply be grateful for the opportunity.
I hope you find a compatible donor with your first ask, but barring that, I hope you find the courage to ask one-thousand times if you must. I don't think it will take that many.
Good luck. I am in your corner, rooting for you.
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